There’s nothing I love more than when my boyfriend shows me attention, hits that spot right there and knows that Friday nights call for Tex-Mex.
There are some things, though, that my man just can’t give me.
Sometimes, we just have to make ourselves happy. And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, we should be doing more of that and worrying less about what someone else can do for us.
At the end of the day, you have to take care of yourself.
As I was sitting at my magnified mirror in the bathroom, lathering zit cream on my face and plucking my brows, I realized that this is a certain kind of happiness that no one else can give me. This moment is all about me, and it feels damn good.
Whenever you feel like you need to rely on some dude for your happiness, remember these feelings he just can’t provide:
1. Taking off your makeup after a long day.
Once that makeup wipe hits my face, it’s a proper euphoria.
There’s something about seeing my bare skin emerge that makes me feel super clean and refreshed. I don’t know how some girls can come home from a night out and not take off their makeup. The days I don’t wash my face are the days I get at least twelve zits.
Although I love Sephora, a good bronzer and makeup in general, there is nothing in this world that feels quite as good as taking it all off.
2. Taking off your bra after a long day.
This is the best feeling in the world, and you know it. It’s specially true if you live in Texas during the summer. You have to air your boobs out, honey.
3. Having an orgasm from touching yourself.
There’s nothing like a man’s touch, but there’s also nothing like knowing exactly where to touch, press and massage to get the job done.
Sometimes, I just don’t feel like saying, “Right there. No, a little over.”
4. Fitting into the jeans you never thought you would.
These True Religion jeans that have stayed in your closet for almost seven years might feel a little snug, but there’s a sick satisfaction you get when your “skinny” jeans finally fit.
I’m not sure why we do this to ourselves (i.e. holding onto clothes because “they might fit later”), but don’t act like you don’t have a pair hidden in your closet, too.
5. Eating a piece of pizza that changes your life.
6. Getting a compliment on the outfit you weren’t quite sure about.
Guys will never know the struggle we face when dressing up. We aren’t doing it for you. We’re doing it for ourselves and for all the girls who are going to check us out.
Girl: “That choker with the high-waisted jeans is bomb.”
Me: *Girl crush swoon*, “Thank you!”
Yup, that’s a great feeling.
7. Paying your bills on time and still having money in your bank account.
It might only be $25, but I have three jars of salsa in my fridge, so I shall be well fed until my next paycheck.
I am an adult who makes her own money and pays those bills, y’all.
Side note: Mom, could you transfer me some money?
8. Finishing all the shows on your DVR in one sitting.
I just powered through six episodes of “Real Housewives of New York,” two episodes of “New Girl” and three lame but necessary episodes of “WAGS”.
Do those girls contour every day of their lives? I don’t know, but I plan on spending the next 12 hours finding out completely on my own.
9. Achieving the perfect buzz during brunch.
You know what I’m talking about: You order the French toast and eggs Benedict, and that mimosa just soothes your soul.
It’s like nothing and no one can stop you. You’ll ruin it by ordering three more mimosas, of course, but for now, you’re in heaven.
10. Receiving a sweet text from your BFF, just because.
She just knows when to send me a text, like after my boss gets onto me and I just cannot handle the day.
Thanks, BFF. You know the exact thing to say to make me feel happier and less insane.