Sorry we have to be the ones to break this to you.
1. When your parents said your favorite place (like Chuck E. Cheese’s) was closed, they were lying.
Truth is, they just didn’t want to drag your ass there.
2. If you ever begged your parents to buy you a toy and they said they would think about it, they were lying.
They never thought of that dumb toy again.
3. When your parents ate something that looked good but they told you it was “spicy,” they were lying.
It wasn’t spicy at all. It was damn delicious and they didn’t want to share it with your grubby little self.
4. The times when your mom threatened to “call” your dad (or vice versa) to tell him you were being bad, she was lying.
Total fake phone call.
5. When your parents told you Santa wouldn’t visit if you were bad, they were lying.
They had every intention of sneaking those presents under the tree, even if you were a pain in the butt that year.
6. When a toy went missing and your parents told you they didn’t know where it was, they were lying.
They straight-up lied to your face. They either sold it, donated it, or threw it out.
7. The same goes for your artwork. If your parents said it was “around here somewhere,” they were lying.
Yeah, it was in the trash.
8. Almost every time your parents said, “Uh huh, uh huh… Yes, I’m listening!” when you were talking, they were lying.
They didn’t have time to listen to your boring stories, kid.
9. Did your parents ever say you could get the toy at the store next time? Yeah, they were lying.
There was never a NEXT time because they knew your underdeveloped mind would forget about it in a few hours.
10. If your parents told you they needed “10 minutes” to rest before they tended to your needs, they were lying.
It was longer than 10 minutes…and a way to delay dealing with you.
11. If your parents ever told you the tooth fairy got busy and “forgot” to visit the first night you lost a tooth, they were lying.
IT WAS YOUR PARENTS WHO FORGOT.
12. When your parents threatened to take you to school or day care on the weekend, they were lying.
They were really just taking advantage of your sweet, naive mind.
13. When your parents didn’t want you doing something because it was “dangerous,” they were lying.
It was really because they didn’t want to clean the mess.
14. When your parents said you wouldn’t grow up to be big and strong if you didn’t eat your veggies, they were lying.
They probably weren’t even eating their own veggies.
15. When your parents said your teeth would fall out if you didn’t brush every night, they were lying.
Yup, they were lying through their own teeth.
16. When your parents allowed you to get fast food as a “reward” for good behavior, they were lying.
They were just craving the junk food for themselves.
17. When your parents told you they knew EVERYTHING, they were lying.
They are total BS-ers. Sorry.
But,hey, you good. In the end you turned out okay…
Seriously, you’re fine…
Because they were telling the truth when they said, “I love you.”
We think so at least.