“I’m a 3 dressed up as a 1.”
We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to illustrate where they fall on The Kinsey Scale, because sexuality is wildly confusing and interesting and fun.
Note: The Kinsey Scale clearly does not address all possible sexual identities (the “purple-red” scale of attraction is another way to map out the sexual spectrum). It’s also constructed to only reflect two possible genders — so yeah, it’s not perfect.
1. Some people just know exactly where they belong:
“A bi teenage girl with an inclination for males — but still would date a girl ;-)”
2. But things can certainly change over time:
3. And maybe there was “that one night”:
“Before grade 10, I was unfortunately extremely self-homophobic. I was fine with queer people on the whole, but horrified that I might be one myself. My best friend kissed me and everything changed. In fact, five years later, my (female) fianceé just asked me to marry her! So, I guess you could say I’m a hard 6.”
4. Maybe you already know what to expect in the future:
“I see a lot of homosexuality in my future.”
5. For others, the scale just might not be expansive enough:
— Jon-Michael Poff
6. Some proudly represented their asexual and aromantic identities:
“I mostly thought I was strictly heterosexual, but just a ‘late bloomer.’ Then I realized I had no real interest in sex, so I identify as aromantic asexual.”
7. ~ X marks the spot~ :
“Proud & happy cat-obsessed aro-ace!!”
8. And bisexual folks marked their places proudly:
“I knew I was bisexual early on, around the age of 14, but I was a lot more attracted to boys for a long time. At 19, I found myself finding more and more women attractive — more so than men. When I got older all I could think about was being with a woman, whilst being with a man at the time. So in short, I move around but I’ll always be bi. Women are too nice.”
9. If only your younger self could see you now:
“I come from a conservative, religious, and fairly homophobic family — that really skewed my views on sexuality as I was growing up. My younger self would be pretty surprised at where I am now, but my current self is SO DAMN HAPPY with my life and who I am.”
10. Some people took a moment to point out that this scale is sort of BS:
“From grape to apple on the fruit scale, where are you? See, not so logical now is it?”
11. One brave soul even attempted to fix it:
“It needs another dimension.”
12. For others, sexuality is fluid but bro status is forever:
13. Some people pointed out that romantic and sexual feelings can be totally separate:
“As an ace lesbian, I don’t exactly fall on the Kinsey scale. As unconventional as my identity might be, it shaped my life and experiences and I wouldn’t trade it for any other.”
14. For others, watching High School Musical changed everything:
15. And some just said IDK and IDGAF:
“The Kinsey scale is really outdated and inaccurate especially for queer non-binary individuals such as myself.”
16. Sometimes the world sees you as one thing, but you’re really another:
“I identify as bisexual and land somewhere between a 4 and a 5. Since I can present as straight, that’s what the world tends to see in me. When I actually tell people I’m bi, they think it’s exactly 50/50 because no one knows about the spectrum! But then there are days I wish I was completely gay, because I think it’d almost be easier.”
17. Because appearances can be deceiving:
“I’m a 3 dressed up as a 1. In my 20s and I’m still trying to figure it all out!”
18. Or maybe your number sort of depends on who you’re around or where you are:
“I have been up and down this scale over and over through my entire life. Some days I’m straight as anything, others I’m gay as balls. I’m 29 and I came out as bisexual last year. I’m quite comfortable with that, but I generally just refer to myself a big queer mess because it covers everything.”
19. The internet is a totally different world:
20. One thing’s for sure — it can be confusing.
“I jumped from one extreme to the other, tried to find my place. It has been a journey, but I’m here! Preferences are okay, whichever way that preference is — it took me a while to accept that and feel comfortable with that. Bisexuality is valid in all its forms, and I love how I identify.”
21. After all, you’re constantly learning about yourself:
“In high school I genuinely believed that I was pretty straight, but I found that dating guys wasn’t as interesting to me as it was to my friends. I met a girl who I fell head over heels for, but I was too scared and unsure of my sexuality to tell her how I felt. Then, as I got older and more self confident, I became sure that men don’t interest me as much as women — and yet I’d still happily sleep with one. So here I am, pretty gay, but also a little straight, it may change but who cares I’m happy and that’s what matters.”
22. So, where do you fall?
“In high school, I wanted a husband and kids. Now the very idea of intimacy with a man freaks me out. I love women, and I love women a lot!”
At the end of the day, however you identify, it’s nobody’s choice but your own.
Responses have been edited for length and clarity.